Origins of the Grumpy Old Man

When Oi were a lad, Oi remember... You young 'uns don't know t' meaning of... etc etc.

What is it that turns an angry young man, into a grumpy old man? It's not just age. It's memory. And it's phrasing.

One day, when I was a young lad -- even too young to be an angry young man -- an old codger made a comment.

"Don't hear many people whistling as they walk," he commented. Then spoiled it by adding, "... these days."

From a cheery old bloke, he was instantly transformed into... a grumpy old man. I had never heard the phrase yet I recognised the signs. Grumpy old man, I would have thought, if the phrase had then been in common use.

"Don't hear many people whistling while they walk." Anyone could say that. Anyone could support that. Or disagree with it. It's just a comment. An observation of perceived fact.

Then add, "These days."

You are now comparing "today" to some day in the far distant past. You have identified yourself as, a grumpy old man.

Or woman.

In this best of all possible worlds, it is not acceptable for any person to compare "today" -- unfavourably -- to the days of their youth.

"I remember when smog over Perth was a rare event. It was worth a story on the front page of the local paper. With explanations of an 'inversion layer' holding down the smoke. But from the hills you can see a permanent cloud of smog over Perth... these days." Grumpy old man!

"I could drive from home to the airport in 30 minutes. I allow an hour... these days." Grumpy old man!

"I played in the bush and rode my bike a few miles to school. There's no bush and the traffic is too dangerous... these days." Grumpy old man!

And -- as a grumpy old man -- I can be safely ignored. I can be labeled, categorised, dismissed. In this best of all possible worlds.

New ideas are safe. Especially if they have been tried, somewhere else.

Smog? We'll invent air cleaners for cars. Sure, they're expensive. But don't you dare point out that a smaller population drove fewer cars, ran fewer industries, had less smog! That's grumpy old man talk.

Traffic congestion? We'll build more roads! It's been tried everywhere else around the world, so it must be good! Sure, it hasn't worked, anywhere else in the world. We just have to accept the congestion that comes with a larger population demanding more cars to drive pointlessly to more and more distant points of interest. Remembering a less congested past is just... grumpy old man talk.

Just for a change...

Let's listen to the grumpy old men.

And women.

No, we can't turn back the clock. Perhaps, though, there were some good points in their past. Perhaps there were some things -- space to live and play, peaceful neighbourhoods, clean air -- which were good. So what?!

So perhaps we can aim for some of those good points. Rather than running as fast as we can in order to stay where we are... Rather than destroying today in the hope that we can (or will be willing to) fix it tomorrow.

Yes, this is the best of all possible worlds. Yet we've lost some of the pleasures of the past. Perhaps we can stop running and consider, Where do we really want to go? Surely, anything is possible these days...

Oh, damn! I've just made it obvious that I'm a grumpy old man.

Please ignore me.