Election 2010: Boring, boring, boring...

Agamedes finds that his own ranting is out-classed by people with a vested interest in politicking.

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This is not a good time for Ranting, Raging and Raving. Or, rather, it is a good time -- but everyone else is doing it. So what's the point?!

Yes, it's election time. The newspaper is half full of election "news" -- vote-catching lies presented to a media pack who are hungry enough to swallow anything. (Hmmm... Interesting analogy: Reporters swallow anything then publish the digested results... No wonder the published election "news" is so on the nose.)

The paper is half full of politicians' lies. The rest of the paper is full of opinions and responses. Talk about Ranting, Raging and Raving!

Anyway... amongst all that rubbish there is not much room for yet another carefully reasoned opinion running counter to the unthinking masses... I'll save myself the effort of writing...

Here's a thought: Go to any of Paul Murray's opinion articles. For example, "Julia's great carbon switcheroo" in The West today (31 July). Murray writes well. Since the election was announced he has written even more acerbically than usual. (Nice word, acerbically. I just double-checked my understanding and corrected my spelling. Yes, it means, "sourly; bitterly, or, In a sarcastic or cynical manner", according to Wiktionary.)

Anyway, read any Paul Murray article, for your fill of ranting, raging and raving. In a well-researched, fact-based manner. Murray's conclusions and opinions may be wrong but his research is solid. He gives enough information to allow debate... and he can be interestingly acerbic.

But is it funny?

For more reading, try Gary Adshead's At Large articles in The West. Adshead did quite well in an earlier stint as Inside Cover. Far more interesting -- less up himself and less interested in name dropping than the present incumbent. Adshead has also written some good investigative articles. With At Large, he attempts to inject humour into politics.

And fails miserably.

I mean, just look at today's article, "Forget polls, cover girl Julia's talk of the town". Adshead does his best. But it's like... well...

Many years ago I set myself a target: Name any topic and I will tell you a joke on that topic. I was doing quite well, with a large repertoire of jokes and the ability to quickly adapt an old joke to fit a new target.

Then I thought, "Salt & pepper shakers." I was inspired by a short story, where the salt & pepper shakers were central to the plot. "I will do," I told myself, "A joke on salt & pepper shakers."

Years later and I have almost given up.

"A salt shaker & a pepper grinder walk into a bar..." No. (Hmmm... Has potential, though.)

"Why was the salt a shaker? Because the pepper... ummm. Oh."

The current election campaign is like salt & pepper shakers: Try as hard as you like, it is just not funny.

But I thought of it first!

I really would like to rant and rage about today's news. But it's all politics. And politics is just done to death. Still, there is one small point that I would like to make:

Years ago I was a public service manager. Before that, I had been in private enterprise. I found that public servants were every bit as good at their jobs as private employees. There were, however, differences.

In the public service -- as a manager -- I had to avoid thinking aloud. "I wonder," I said, "If we could do this task this different way..." I expected some discussion. There was none.

A week later, I found that the task was being done this different way. "But you said to do it this different way," I was told. I was a manager, my every word was an absolute command.

Not that that has anything to do with this article...

As a manager, I had to attend many, many committee meetings.

"Why not," I thought, carefully, to myself, "Why not send a level 1 clerk to attend these meetings?" Very few decisions were ever made. The meetings were to document, via minutes, that discussions had been held. Occasionally, ready-made decisions were brought to the meetings in order to be officially documented.

I could save myself a lot of time, I thought, if I sent a level one clerk to these meetings. If anything interesting really happened, the level 1 clerk would simply say, I have to check with my boss, and avoid making a commitment. Why not?

Now I see that prime ministers have stolen my idea.

Now-ex-PM Rudd sent underlings to security meetings. Now-PM-then-deputy-PM Gillard sent underlings "to attend highly sensitive security meetings on her behalf" (PM hit by new leak allegation, The West, 31 Jul 10).

So what?!

"Highly sensitive"?! If it were really highly sensitive -- why would you invite a politician? Politicians, apparently, leak like sieves.

"Meetings"?! Are they meetings -- where decisions are to be made? Or are they simply briefings, where a disinterested and uninformed PM is told of decisions that have already been made. Read the minutes!

So the PM and the ex-PM stole my idea. Good luck to them.

And I think I'd trust "a former bodyguard and junior staff member" more than any PM.

Lie detector online

I recently heard that a website provides an online lie detector. It may have even called it a "political bullshit detector". Sorry for the vague reference... I was not really listening.

But I can tell you how it works:

A political lie detector is simple. Get a motion detector. Point it at a politician's lips. If the motion detector detects motion -- light up the big lights: "Political lie detected."

Politics, eh.

Sorry to have bored you for so long.

Independent thinking & independent analysis of your problems by Agamedes Consulting. Support for your thought: email nick leth at gmail dot com

Jolly Japanese Get Gas

Agamedes stomach churns, as emotion bypasses fact.

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Good grief! What a stomach-churning exercise in blatant manipulation of the mind! Are we really stupid enough to believe this rubbish:

Oh gosh! The Yoshida children are so full of energy! And so cuuuute, too! Aaaahhh, shucks...

And there's that little logo, down below the cutesy picture. A little logo for the oil company which did not spill oil in the Gulf of Mexico. That friendly oil company which just wants to help the oh-so-cute Yoshida family to prepare tonight's bowl of warming noodles.

Oh please.

Shell are a multinational company. They are in the business of making money -- the more, the better.

But what if they blow up a processing plant? Or pour oil into otherwise clear waters? Or leak huge volumes of gas into the atmosphere?

Shhhhh... don't even think it... Just look at the nice Japanese family.

What if there's a delay getting the next environment-destroying plant up and running? Oh dear, that cute little Japanese girl will be so sad! Boohoo! You're not going to put the nasty environment in front of those sweet children who may have children of their own, surely...

I mean, there's so much more environment that we won't have destroyed, yet... So why stop and think? And just look at the cute children!

Are we really that stupid?

Well, the Shell marketing people certainly think so.

Independent thinking & independent analysis of your problems by Agamedes Consulting. Support for your thought: email nick leth at gmail dot com

Burqua and Bull

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From London, the apparent centre of oblivious idealism, Nesrine Malik allows only one eye to peer from behind her full-face anonymity (Revealing view from behind the black veil, The West, 19 Jul 10).

After three years, the "abaya and niquab became a comfort and a delight. It was a relief not to have to think about what to wear." So far, so good.

"The uniform black costume has a charming egalitarianism about it." Sound nice. Unfortunately, Malik was not listening to what she was writing.

"Fashion-wise... the smallest details count." From egalitarianism Malik has jumped to a fashion statement.

"Subtly embellished... Light fabrics and slim-line empire silhouettes..." So much for the plain uniform of egalitarianism... "My uniform is better than your uniform!" she shouts.

"Eye make-up and footwear took on extra significance." I'm better than you! Just look at my expensive and tasteful extras!

"The outfit became empowering, enabling reclamation of one's sexuality..." Wow! Whatever happened to "the Islamic requirement for modest dress"?! Someone is just asking for a stoning...

And let's have a quick look at the "charming egalitarianism" of the "uniform black costume":

Egalitarianism? Wikipedia introduces egalitarianism as, "a trend of thought that favors equality of some sort." Wearing a black sack makes everyone somehow equal, does it? Equal to whom?

Equal to every other person who wears the same black sack.

Not equal to the women who can afford to and who do tailor their outfits.

Not equal to the women who wear expensive shoes.

Not equal to the women who paint their nails, in order to better display their sexuality.

And certainly not equal to the 50% of the world -- men -- who are never required to wear either abaya or niqab.

It can be had to be objective about subjugation when you have finally learnt to shut up and accept it.

Independent thinking & independent analysis of your problems by Agamedes Consulting. Support for your thought: email nick leth at gmail dot com

Politicians past and present

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Politics, politicians, elections... topics hardly worth the effort of the rant. Still, good for a couple of good chuckles:

Sign of impending election

How did Andrew Probyn confirm that an election would actually be called? "The Prime Minister's Canberra-based make-up artist was advised not to make a planned trip to the ski-field town of Jindabyne today" (The West, 17 Jul 10).

Yep, that's worth a good chuckle. Unless you seriously believe that politicians should be selected on their ability to run a country. Otherwise, it nicely highlights the important issues of the current election campaign.

Probyn's phrasing does raise some other questions: Does the PM have a dedicated make-up artist based in other cities? Or is this one make-up artist a member of the Canberra-based groupies who follow the PM around the world...

Memories fade fast

It seems that journalists' memories may fade faster than old prime ministers...

Paul Murray has a spray at the aged root rat (Murray's words) who used to be Australia's PM. In general, I agree with Murray's article (Hawke legend crashes to earth, The West, 17 Jul 10).

I do have some sympathy for the old root rat. I mean, read Murray's description of d'Apulget: "[she] looked like an Easter Island statue with rubber lips on speed..."

Hawke is an ex-PM who used his position of power to screw everything in sight, including the country. Now he's just a silly old bugger with a Lifelike Rubber Doll with Mobile Lips. What a sad come-down.

Where I disagree with Murray is his opinions that Hawke was popular due to "his intuitive feel for the national good".

No. Hawke had no interest whatsoever in "the national good". He sat firmly on the fence, on every issue. Worse yet -- he kept a foot on either side.

Hawke had no visible opinions of his own. Whichever side of the fence needed a bribe -- Hawke would offer it. He tried to buy votes and popularity from everyone.

Which may have been why he was popular. Unfortunately he -- and Australia -- were going nowhere.

Keating, though...

I disagreed with most of Keating's ideas, actions and policies. But I did admire the fact that he had ideas, actions and policies.

Keating knew what he wanted to do and pushed people aside in his efforts to get it done. Hawke just sat on the fence with a foot in every camp. And, apparently, a hand up every skirt.

Independent thinking & independent analysis of your problems by Agamedes Consulting. Support for your thought: email nick leth at gmail dot com

Urgent call for "child" therapy

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Various experts in child care are calling for "urgent action" to support children in need of therapy (Urgent call over child therapy, The West Australian, 17 Jul 10). Dr Trevor Parry, Michelle Scott and Fiona Stanley are raising concerns that "children were falling through the cracks because WA lacked a co-ordinated approach to early intervention."

Actually, the next paragraph of Cathy O'Leary's article blames delays rather than lack of co-ordination. Still, the two may be related.

What is it that has all these experts so worried? Speech therapists? Physiotherapists? Educational specialists? No.

The concern is that children may have to wait up to a year to see a clinical psychologist.

I'm sorry, all these experts seems to have missed the problem. By the time a child needs a clinical psychologist -- in many, many cases -- it is too late. Okay, you can help the symptoms but the cause is a separate issue.

Stop the problems before they happen. Insist that adults obtain a "suitable for breeding" certificate before they have children. And I don't mean money and physical capacity.

Are these adults fit to be parents? Will they love, care for and support their future children? Will they take responsibility for caring for their own children -- at least to the extent of hiring capable, long-term parent substitutes?

Ensure that parents will provide the time, the care and the attention that children require. That will shorten the waiting list for childhood clinical psychologists.

Independent thinking & independent analysis of your problems by Agamedes Consulting. Support for your thought: email nick leth at gmail dot com

Threats from a Committee for Self-Interest

Agamedes despairs, as another planner avoids the hard problems.

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Oh look, another little bit of nonsense from a "planner" who wants to sell his own services.

Sydney architect and urban planner Craig Allchin says that packing people into high rise sardine tins is inevitable (City high rise, suburban apartments 'inevitable',The West Australian, 13 Jul 10). Bugger you, says this "expert", I'm going to build concrete blocks over your dreams of a pleasant suburban life-style.

In his own words: "One of the big problems is every time someone sees a development application for a big change we all erupt into an angry mob and form a no-development group and try to stop the change."

So, in his own words, "we all" have no rights if a developer wants to make a lot of money.

How stupid is this man? He makes a heap of money from planning to build concrete jungles. Then he acts upset because people do not want to exist in a concrete jungle.

Manage population growth

I just put that headline in there to remind you of the real problem: The population is growing past an acceptable level yet we accept that population growth is inevitable.

Living in a high rise concrete jungle is not "inevitable". Not if we tackle the correct problem, of population growth. "We all" seem to be against over-development. Stop population growth and we will stop the need for constant growth of concrete blocks. Destruction of our preferred standard of living is not "inevitable" -- as long as we tackle the real problem.

So what is this "expert" doing in Perth anyway? He's here to support the concrete growth view of the Committee for Perth.

Another self-interest group, the Committee for Perth

The Committee for Perth, "aims to ensure that Perth’s future is planned and coordinated in a way that maximises the use of our geographical positioning, the business and intellectual resources available and the strength that our resource based economy provides" (from their website, 14 Jul 10). All very good. What do they really want?

The Committee wants a "vision" for Perth. In a research publication they write,"Historically, Perth has looked elsewhere for models but the city is big enough, old enough and sophisticated enough to be able to develop its own vision." The report then goes to other cities -- elsewhere! -- to see what other cities have in the way of city vision.

btw: The report's author gained the bulk of her experience in Ireland and New Zealand. Always safest to avoid local talent, isn't it.

The report looks for vision statements from the fifty top-ranked on a city "liveability ranking". Twenty visions were found. Twenty?!

To my maths, that means that 60% of the top-ranked livable cities of the world do not have -- do not need -- a vision statement. Is Perth on that list? Well, actually, yes...

Perth already ranks eighth on the list. Not bad, I think. Not bad at all, with no "vision" to back it up... Perhaps Perth is just a good place to live! Already a good place -- as it is now.

Can we improve? Sure! How would the Committee for Perth have us improve? Let's look at their publications... For example, "A tale of two cities that need to be integrated" by Marion Fulker, the CEO of Committee for Perth. It was published in The West on 18 Mar 10 and is available on the Committee website (A tale of two cities).

The article invents conclusions from an informal survey of a selected audience.

Attendees at a sponsored lunch were asked to name their favourite places around Perth. The surveyees liked rivers, beaches and parks. They also liked "our energetic urban spaces. Fremantle, Subiaco, South Perth..." So "we" -- the people invited to the lunch sponsored by Committee for Perth -- like natural spaces and they like city spaces.

This, apparently, is a "contradiction".

"We" like open spaces and we like closed spaces. To you and me, this means that "we" like a variety of different spaces. To Committee for Perth, this means that "what we truly treasure... are those intimate nooks that give our city personality and vibrancy." Eh?! What happened to the wide open beaches, parks and rivers?!

More and more, with less and less good sense

Having dismissed any thoughts of natural assets -- beaches, rivers, parks -- Fulker's article continues on its descent into pre-arranged conclusions.

Fulker wants to link the city centre with Northbridge: "we may be able to create a link between the two currently opposing values of open spaces and intimate urbanity. The city centre is critical." So... Which is the "open space"? City centre or Northbridge? What a load of nonsense Fulker has packed into just one paragraph!

But wait! There's more!

That same paragraph continues. "Yet what is underdeveloped is the potential of the waterfront." Oh. I see. Northbridge is a festering rat-hole. Linking it to the city centre will magically transform it into a pleasantly nooky little place to visit. And if we put a lot of buildings on the edge of the river, we will somehow transform the very popular open space, into... another bit of concrete jungle!

You like the open and natural spaces of parks and rivers? Tough! The Committee for Perth wants to build buildings.

The Committee for Perth wants parks and rivers converted to buildings. They want "flexible shopping hours, a dynamic arts and cultural scene and approvals processes that support and encourage these," these development-at-all-costs-as-long-as-it-brings-us-profits proposals by committee sponsors, I guess.

Forget about the "we all" who -- according to Craig Allchin -- do not want development. Forget about Perth as already being the eighth most livable city in the world. Marion Fulker is paid to support development.

Development at all costs, as long as the cost is borne only by "we all" who are already happy to live in Perth. Development that will destroy the current "open space" amenities of Perth.

But that's okay. Fulker and the rest of her committee will have gained huge profits. They will be able to move somewhere else.

Away from the concrete jungle that they hope to see in Perth.

Independent thinking & independent analysis of your problems by Agamedes Consulting. Support for your thought: email nick leth at gmail dot com

Tokyo Drains offer Pilbara Water Solution

Agamedes goes down the Tokyo drain -- and pops up again in the Pilbara.

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At last! A good idea that is not my own!

"Tokyo offers toilet water for Pilbara", is the headline (The West, 13 Jul 10). A Japanese research company -- Nomura Research Institute -- has suggested that recycled Tokyo sewage could be used to damp down the iron ore dust of the Pilbara.

Large ships carry iron ore from WA to Japan. They then return to WA -- empty. Why not send them back... full of recycled water?! Brilliant!

Just a few days ago I called for better solutions to our water "crisis". As I pointed out (Water Strategy Misses the Point) the problem is with demand rather than supply. There is plenty of water -- but we place too many demands for its effective use.

Well, I may have to back down on that assertion... I would guess that the supply is even larger than I thought. There must be a lot of used water available from a city as large as Tokyo!

I suggested that we look for better, alternative solutions -- solutions that did not waste good, drinking water. What we have from Nomura is a better alternative to the supply of water. Yes, there will be problems with avoiding the potential for importing diseases along with the water. There may be lots of other problems. But...

It's a great idea. Work with it. Solve the problems and avoid the wastage of good Pilbara water.

Well done that think tank!

Independent thinking & independent analysis of your problems by Agamedes Consulting. Support for your thought: email nick leth at gmail dot com