The West, the One and the Many

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It's surprising, really, how much happier you can be if you avoid the news.

I've been missing the paper -- and not watching TV -- for most of the last week and a half. And I find that I have no strong urge to Rant nor to Rage nor to Rave. Mind you, I still have the urge to Ramble... So...

Many years ago I read a story of the great Fleet Street newspaper strike of... whatever year it was. Probably twenty years ago. At least.

Anyway, all the English reporters (or possibly printers, I don't think that it was the nightwatchmen), they all went on strike. Whoever it was, English newspapers were not printed. For weeks.

Worse yet -- this was BTV, Before TV became such a force for dissemination of misery and stupidity. So the English were denied all knowledge of the news of the world.

And guess what?

They were all happier!

According to a happiness survey taken at the time.

For more than a week I have been not reading the news, not watching the news, not listening to the news. Okay, I'm not really sure that I am happier. Certainly, though, I finally read a newspaper and found very little to cause me to Rant.

I don't blame the newspaper, it does its best. (Or worst.)

Still... I did see some humour in The West Australian of Saturday 12 February 2011...

The West Australian of Saturday 12 February?

According to the top of each page of Saturday's West, it is The Weekend West for February 12-13. Good try, The West. But you still get read on Saturday. And we still read The Sunday Times on Sunday.

Perhaps your marketing gurus could try to call the Saturday paper "The Friday and Saturday West"... After all, half the paper is delivered on Friday. And the rest is read by Saturday lunch.

I wonder if we could pay less and not have the Friday half of Saturday's paper? Nooo... I suppose it wouldn't work... I do like to read the comics. And the TV program goes to our children. The rest, though, is recycled unread. What a waste of paper.

Solo man licks mighty Fitzroy

Not that I have anything against Lachie Carracher and his paddle down the Fitzroy River. It's just that the article by Alex Massey raises several questions:

Apparently, Carracher was "overcoming 2m freshwater crocodiles" on his journey. Let's not get carried away here! Freshwater crocs are known to be mostly harmless... Sure, they'll bite if you step on them. (One of my nieces proved that.) But the freshwater crocs are not the dangerous ones.

Then there's the "solo" journey.

"The only way out," says Carracher, "Was for me to paddle. From Mt Barnett I didn't see another soul until I got out at Fitzroy Crossing."

Okay.

So who took the photos?

Oh, and by the way: Fitzroy River -- like quite a few rivers -- flows all the way to the ocean. Massey wrote that, "Carracher, 22, paddled into Fitzroy Crossing ... to finish the expedition." That does not really count as "the first man to solo paddle WA's mighty Fitzroy River". I'm sure that plenty of other people have already solo paddled down the river.

When you've paddled all the way down the river... Tell us about it. We may get really excited.

Stuck in deep water

Paul Murray is all upset by the Department of Water having 668 employees. (If that's "employees" then you can bet that there are at least that many more permanent "consultants".)

Anyway. What's the problem?

Surely Murray has watched Yes, Minister...

There's Payroll staff. And Accounting staff. Not to forget Finance, IT, Cleaning... Supervisors, mid-level Managers, Managers... Contract Specialists, Purchasing Officers, Receptionists and PAs for every Manager...

That could easily add up to 667 essential staff.

And don't forget the one person who does the actual work...

And finally... Alston...

Okay, Alston is just carrying on about a topic which has excited people for a couple of days: the suggestion that country towns could gain population through infrastructure investment.

"Pooh, pooh," say the pooh-poohers, "It'll never work."

Have you visited Joondalup recently?

Many years ago Joondalup was a bit of bush, way past the end of the freeway. Then the government decided to encourage population growth.

The government spent money on infrastructure. They forced government agencies to transfer main offices to Joondalup. (Staff did not want to move. Too bad.)

Many years of push... spend... force... spend...

Now look at Joondalup: it's enormous.

So why won't the same approach work just as well in any other country area?

Pooh pooh to you too.

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