Monday 14 June 2010

Rich Richard Rewrites Rules of Grammar

If only I were rich and powerful, thinks Agamedes... I too would rewrite the rules of grammar

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email nick leth at gmail dot com. Need solutions? No worries. Now.

Of all the grammatical slips that really bother me, few compare with an improperly used 'they'. So writes Richard Branson, in an attack on disobedient employees (No third person in 'are you being served?', The West, 10 Jun 10).

Grammatical slips?!

Come on, Branson. You -- or even "they", your ghost writers -- are pushing a management control trick. Your article is about imposed group-think. It is not about a grammatical slip.

Branson is making a simple point, that he does not like his employees to tell customers that the faceless company "they" are responsible for a poor decision. Branson would have his employees shoulder a share of the blame, by telling customers that "we" made that decision. Fair enough, too -- if "we" were actually involved in making the decision.

Branson provides the example of the redesign of an aircraft cabin:

If you insist, say, that the marketing, design and management teams are involved ... that new product will have the impetus of a huge pride of association. 'We came up with this as a team.'

So. You're a passenger, sitting in the newly redesigned aircraft cabin. "Why are the seats crammed so closely together?" you ask the management team member. "Because we care for profit over your comfort," replies the management team member -- with pride. Or, more realistically:

"Why are the seats crammed so closely together?" you ask the cabin crew team member. "Because that's the way they designed them," replies the cabin crew team member -- the person who actually works with customers in the redesigned cabin -- and who was not involved in the redesign because the cabin crew team are only staff and not management. Whoops!

I, we, them, us and they

There is no "I" in "team". Durr! There is also no "we", no "you" and certainly no "customer". But it's a clever catchphrase. Meaningless, of course. And badly misused.

One of my managers once told me, "You are not a team player." Why? Because I questioned my manager's ideas. That is the practical implementation of team-work: listen to the boss, agree with the boss, do as the boss tells you.

If your boss tells you not to say that "they" made a poor decision... For goodness sake, do not say that "they" made a poor decision! To be safe, try not to even think that "they" made a poor decision! Branson is very specific on this aspect of group-think:

When someone on our team tells me, 'Sorry, Mr Branson, but they don't let us do that any more," my standard response is, '"They"? Oh, I'm sorry, I mistook you for someone who works here.' This, claims Branson, is "tough love".

Actually, it's a threat.

Did you also notice the revealing use of "our" and "I"? It's "our" team -- but "I" can terminate your employment. "Our" team when Branson pretends that the employee has some say in running the team. But "I" am the real boss -- the person who can fire you.

Another of my managers had an interesting way of using "I" and "we" and an employee's name... Our group was responsible for numerous projects; some were successful, some less so. When a successful project was being presented to senior managers, my manager would say that "I" did this and that. For projects which were failing, my manager would use the project manager's name. For example, "John did this and that." When a project looked good but it was still too early to be certain, my manager would say that "we" did this and that.

Separate the grammar from the management

The use of "they" -- as in, "They don't let us do that any more," -- is grammatically correct. "They" is used as an "(indefinite pronoun, vague meaning) People; some people; someone" (they, Wiktionary, Jun 2010). When you don't know or care who they are but they are definitely not you, you say that "they" did it.

Of course if you work for Richard Branson it may be grammatically correct but a clear CLM... career limiting move.

If you are rich and powerful -- or you want to be rich and powerful -- and you are happy to treat other people as interchangeable rungs on your ladder to success... feel free to use catchphrases and blunt objects to control staff. For everyone else, here are some suggestions:

  • Work as a team. Remember that you are also a member of that team.
  • Democracy and team decision-making are very seldom effective in business. Don't pretend that the team makes the decisions -- unless they really, really do.
  • Listen to and consult with team members. Be very clear -- with team members and in your own mind -- that you are team leader. You are paid to make the final decisions.
  • If you delegate decisions, really delegate them. Delegate a decision to a person who can make the decision, who will make the decision and who cares about the result. Support them but do not question their decision.
  • "We" are a team, "we" did the work. "I" am team leader, "I" am responsible for the actions of my team. If "we" made a mistake then you will tell "me". "I" will then deal with "my" team, to correct the mistake and to prevent it happening again.
  • You are my manager; trust me to deal with my team. If you do not trust me to deal with my team then you should replace me as team leader.
  • Buzzwords, cliches and catch-phrases encourage group-think; this is fine if group-think makes your team work better. Do not pretend that group-think is good team work.
  • If you want your team to really share values -- listen even more than you talk. And be honest. Especially with yourself.

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