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Really, there's only one thing worse that not being able to get drunk when you're waiting for the Australia Day fireworks. What could be worse than that, you wonder? Not being able to get drunk at the movies, of course!
It's un-Australian, that's what. I mean, what wowsers would object to booze at the cinema?! Alcohol bid by cinema panned, is the headline (The West, 15 Jun 10). Where else could you go, if Greater Union at Innaloo is not allowed to sell booze? It's just such a perfect spot for drinking...
There's a huge carpark. Get pissed as a fart, do a couple of donuts, drive home. Perfect! Too drunk to find your car? No worries! All those dark theatres, lots of seats, chunder on the row in front then fall asleep across several seats. And no-one will notice your snoring, if you pick a good action movie for your pre-hangover snooze.
Lots of kids hanging round, send them off to pick up a burger and chips from across the road. Offer them a free ticket -- or a swig from your brown paper bag -- and it's better for them than pocket money. I mean, kids and pocket money, what a waste, give them something useful. And something useful to do.
Parents wondering what to do while their brats are locked away in a movie? Enjoy the wait -- get a glow on. No screaming brats complaining, where were you when I came out of the movie? You'll be there, ready and waiting. And happy enough to put up with the endless discussion of the movie, as you drive them all home.
Alcohol in the cinema? Nope, can't fault the idea.
Agamedes Consulting. Support for your thought: email nick leth at gmail dot com |
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