Motelling for CHOGM: Problems Solved

Agamedes wonders if he has published this solution earlier. And offers apologies, just in case.

CHOGM is coming to Perth. Why? Surely there is a far better option... And here it is!

Do you need new -- lateral -- thinking for your own problems? email nick leth at gmail dot com. Need solutions? No worries. Now.

CHOGM -- the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting -- is coming to Perth. Why? Possibly because Perth is a friendly, safe place which welcomes visitors. Especially those with money to spend. More likely, because the Australian prime minister wanted to big-note himself by inviting all his powerful wanna-be friends back to his place. But didn't want to upset a Labor premier by dumping them with the huge costs and headaches of CHOGM.

Today (3 Apr 10) The West announces that Diedre Willmott has resigned from her job as coordinator of the CHOGM preparations. Not that the job is too hard (I'm sure that the pay is high enough for any free-loading political lackey), it's a conflict-of-interest issue.

So we're going to have a new person in charge of CHOGM organisation. Perhaps we could also have some new ideas?

Meanwhile, back at the coal-face...

Meanwhile, at WA's equivalent of the coal-face, iron ore miners have rejected an attempt to dehumanise their living conditions. By "miners" I mean the people who actually do the work at the iron ore mines. The workers, who fly in, work hard, then fly out again.

Several months ago, mine managers decided to implement "motelling". That is, the miners' accommodation -- supplied by the mine company -- would become a motel rather than a home. While working at the northwest mine site, a worker would stay in a donga. When they left, the donga would be available for another worker.

The effect of motelling on the miner is, that when they "fly out" -- fly away from the mine site -- the worker would need to clear out their donga and take all personal possessions with them. When the worker flies in again -- when they return to the mine site for another couple of weeks work on site -- they would bring essential clothes, etc, plus any personal items which they required for a comfortable life beyond work.

For the mine owners, motelling would allow each donga to be kept at full capacity. As soon as one worker left, another would move into that donga.

For the mine worker, motelling would mean that their life outside work would be completely depersonalised. How many workers would bring books, hobby material, sporting equipment with them, on each fly-in, every third week? For the workers, motelling would ensure that there was no life outside work. Eat, drink, sit, sleep. There is no life beyond work. We pay you to work. We own you, 24 hours of each day. You are workers, not humans.

Which brings another bonus for the mine owners. You want to organise a union? Let's see you bring papers, books, references, personal laptops... back and forward, every three weeks. Sooner or later you will forget something; your out-of-work efforts will become just that little bit harder. We can dehumanise the workers. We can disadvantage the union organisers.

Motelling has many advantages for the mine owners. The mine workers rejected motelling. Owners replied, But these dongas are great! We provide excellent accommodation! We just want to be able to re-use each donga rather than leave it empty for one week in three!

Is a Donga good enough for CHOGM?

Here is an obvious solution for the CHOGM organisers: run CHOGM at a northwest mine site.

• The CHOGM organisers are already planning on isolating areas of Perth. This will be done for "security". It will also keep the hoi-polloi from disturbing the partying of CHOGM delegates. Rather than creating chaos in Perth -- move CHOGM out to the bush.
  
• Book an entire mine-site for the duration of CHOGM. Book every donga for CHOGM accommodation. Use mine-site facilities for meals, meeting, and so on. In between CHOGM work (meals and meetings) the delegates can just sit around. Just like the miners: they're here for work, not to enjoy their personal time.
  
• For the duration of CHOGM, the mine-site stops work. It may even be possible to keep one or two shifts going -- depending on the work hours expected of CHOGM delegates. But it would be simpler to just close down the actual mine.
  
• Pay the mine owners for accommodation, plus compensation for lost production. The total cost (to CHOGM organisers) will still be less than the exhorbitant cost of "motelling" CHOGM delegates in every expensive hotel in Perth. Especially when the hotel owners realise that theirs is the only room left in town...
  
• Pay the mine-workers to stay at home. Tell them that they can think of it as a strike against motelling, but with no adverse impact on themselves nor on the mine owners.
  
• Dongas are excellent accommodation units. They must be, the mine managers tell us they are. I've stayed at a mine-site donga -- for one night, using it as a motel -- and it was fine. Clean, comfortable, compact. All that a CHOGM delegate would want, if they are really here to do some work.
  
• Food can be provided by the mine-site mess. You can bet that the food would be good. (Have you ever seen a malnourished miner?) The mess is set up to feed hundreds of hungry workers -- exactly right for CHOGM.
  
• Security will be simple: a roadblock on the one road in and a sniffer dog at the local airport. There may even be a fence around the whole site. There will be no risk of delegates putting themselves at risk by disappearing amongst the crowds of partying locals -- all the "locals" will have been flown home.
  
• No worries about CHOGM delegates disappearing from meetings, to turn up as "political refugees" seeking asylum in Australia. If they try to slip away from a mine-site in the northwest... where will they go?!
  
• We may even be able to reduce the number of non-essential CHOGM attendees... How many sycophantic political hopefuls will follow their masters to a mine-site in the middle of nowhere? This is a Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting. Invite the Heads of government and hope that the hangers-on stay home.
  
• Journalists, of course, will be welcome to stay at spare dongas. Those who really believe that CHOGM deserves full-time coverage...
  
• Protesters can stay wherever they like. They can even protest on site -- if they can get past the road block and the sniffer dog. Though they will have to bring their own tents and supplies.
  
• End CHOGM with a survey of delegates: Is motelling an effective way to organise a week's work? Did delegates feel that they were restricted by the one-small-kitbag limit to luggage? Did they appreciate the environment of work, work work?
  

Motelling? We will have an independent survey of its effectiveness. CHOGM? Over and done with, with minimum disturbance to the people who want to live, work and play in Perth.

Problems? Solved! No worries.

Independent thinking & independent analysis of your problems by Agamedes Consulting. Support for your thought: email nick leth at gmail dot com